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Dear reader,

The third part of the Life of Anne series is now complete, and honestly, it was a tough one to write. This installment includes themes of forced sex as a fantasy and a mental breakdown. These topics might be triggering, so please consider this your warning upfront.

But please, give the story a chance. Anne is growing and learning, and these hardships are part of her journey, whether she wants them or not.

Parts 1 and 2 of the series are available on my author page.

All characters are over 18.

*******

Breakdown

The past few months, Marley and I pretty much spent all our free time running back and forth between cities. Her parents were still trying to get their heads around the fact that their daughter, was a lesbian. I just told them straight up, “Marley’s Marley. And I’m just Anne.”

They tried, honestly. No rude comments, no blocking us. Still, it wasn’t exactly easy to have relaxed, no-pressure sex under their roof. So Marley started coming to The Hague more and more.

My aunt didn’t care what we got up to behind closed doors. Marion even made a game out of it sometimes, seeing who could make the most noise, her and my aunt or us. It was ridiculous and funny, and a little embarrassing in the best way.

Marley and I got closer. We were older, more settled. Less drama, more ease. That was good. Safe. But I’ll admit, sometimes I missed that rush, sneaking around, stolen kisses, the thrill of maybe getting caught. I never told her that. I didn’t want to mess things up. Maybe I hoped it would just fade away.

Eventually, Marley made up her mind and signed up at the Hotel School in The Hague. Her parents weren’t thrilled, they’d hoped for law school, but figured it was better than the boring job she had. Her dad agreed to pay for school, but she had to find a part-time job to cover rent.

One day Marley said, “Why don’t we find a place together?”

I smiled and nodded. It made total sense.

But finding the right place wasn’t easy. Nothing really felt right. And honestly, I wasn’t in any hurry. I dragged my feet, I didn’t even know why. Did I really want to live with Marley? Did I want to live with anyone? Was I even ready for that? But then my aunt found a nice little apartment through some contacts, and suddenly there was no turning back. Marley was so excited, so pumped, that my own hesitation quickly got drowned out. I shoved the uneasy feeling aside, like I usually did.

The apartment had a bright, spacious living room and a bedroom big enough for a double bed. Everything checked out. And yet, it felt like I was diving headfirst into something without really knowing why. Like I was already in the middle of making a new home, but suddenly had to share it. I barely had time to realize I was leaving aunt Helena, leaving behind the safe rhythm of her house.

I spent all my free time fixing the place up. Marley helped when she could on weekends. Her course was starting in two months. By the end of the week, we’d be living there together.

I kept my feelings to myself.

The night before I was moving out my aunt threw a little farewell party. She invited my parents and Marion to make it a nice festive evening. Marley had always gotten along well with my parents and they were happy we were moving in together. But my mom’s sharp eye missed very little and she kept an eye on me all night. When it was time for coffee she said “We’ll do this together” giving me a knowing nod.

In the kitchen she got straight to the point. “When are you going to learn to talk about what’s bothering you daughter of mine? I’ve had the feeling all evening you’re not really here.” I shrugged and muttered something about being tired. She looked at me like she expected more but I kept my eyes on the counter. She didn’t push further. Maybe she knew it was useless. Or maybe she just didn’t want the drama.

It was easier that way, smiling a little, nodding at the right moments, pretending.

I never really understood what people wanted to hear. If I said nothing it was wrong. But if I said something, too much changed and then I’d have to deal with that. Someone would worry or feel guilty. Then it became my job to reassure them. I learned early on that if I didn’t make a fuss things stayed easier for everyone. So I kept quiet like always.

The evening ended up pretty nice though. Around eleven my parents headed home. Marion and Marley stayed over. Wanting a distraction I offered to do the dishes. I needed a moment alone to say goodbye to my safe place. From tomorrow everything would be different.

I quickly slipped on some sweats and a shirt. Marley was already snuggled up in bed. My aunt and Marion left me to it. When I finished the dishes and walked back to the living room a few small lights were still on but everyone was in bed. I turned off the last lights and sat down in the corner of the couch with a pillow on tokat escort my lap. I don’t know how long I’d been sitting there when Marley half-asleep came looking for me.

“Sweetheart I miss you in bed” she said. Warm and sleepy she snuggled up next to me. “Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on love?”

As much as I wanted to I couldn’t find the words to shape my thoughts. A slight panic crept in but I said “It’s just scary moving in together.”

Marley climbed onto my lap and I wrapped my arms around her. Her warm, naked body felt so familiar, her lips and tongue tasting way too good. That restless knot inside me started to melt away, replaced by a rising heat. The soft glow from the streetlights hit her skin just right, making her look irresistible. My hands slid over her back, down to her ass. Every time I touched it, she’d wiggle up a little, giving me the perfect chance to squeeze and knead. Her hands slipped under my shirt, working my nipples harder than I thought possible. Our mouths tangled in a fierce, heated battle, no words needed, just pure want and tension.

Breathless, I pulled back and said, my voice thick with desire, “Want to make a fantasy come true, baby?” She looked at me with that wicked, horny sparkle in her eyes, and honestly, that was all I needed.

My arousal shot through the roof, pushing any other thoughts aside. Naked, I left her on the couch with one clear instruction: get on your knees on the couch and rest your head on the backrest. No standing up without my permission, no matter what.

She willingly settled into position as I pulled the blinds down, leaving her there in the dark. I could still back out, but I didn’t want to stop now. I quickly stripped in the shower and freshened up a bit. When I knocked on my aunt’s door, I felt a flutter of nerves, but from the sounds inside, they weren’t asleep yet.

“Come in,” a voice moaned.

I heard another voice groan. My aunt was lying with her face between Marion’s legs. And Marion had her eyes closed in pleasure. Without opening her eyes she said, “Did you come for a show on your last night here?” My aunt pulled her head away and looked at me in a lustful way, the horny juice still dripping from her lips. “I’ve come to ask you a favor” I said.

I quickly told them about Marley’s fantasy, how she was waiting in the living room, in the dark, just like I’d asked her to. Marion’s eyes lit up with mischief, and my aunt didn’t need much convincing either. They were already halfway out of bed before I’d even finished talking. While they rummaged through drawers for the things I’d asked for, I slipped into my room to grab a few items of my own.

Just like we’d agreed, my aunt and Marion didn’t say a word as they quietly stepped into the darkened room. Marley was still in the same position, on her knees, head resting on the couch. We could hear her breathing, fast and shallow, thick with anticipation.

“Dry out your pussy,” I snapped, tossing her a towel. Marley grabbed it and began drying herself thoroughly. When she tried to turn around to hand it back, I said sharply, “Don’t turn around.” Without hesitation, she lowered herself back into the position I wanted. Eyes closed, bent over the couch, ass out, arms resting on the railing.

It was thrilling. Really thrilling. But also a little terrifying.

Marley’s fantasies were rougher than mine, more intense, sometimes edging on violent. I kept telling myself it was better to explore those edges at home. Safe. Familiar. With someone I trusted. Somewhere we could push boundaries without breaking them.

There was something inside her that refused to let go of that night in the alley with Jaco. She never spoke of it with shame or regret. Instead, a spark ignited in her voice when she mentioned it. A fire long buried, smoldering in that hazy space between surrender and consent, between desire and fear. Something she hadn’t dared face before, now glowing just beneath her skin. She wanted it again. That reckless force taking her before she was ready, before she was even wet. And in her mind, what came after wasn’t just reality. It was wilder, deeper, a flood breaking free. She crossed lines in her imagination she didn’t even know existed, testing edges she couldn’t fully grasp. That night had shaken something loose inside her, something she couldn’t let go of no matter how hard she tried.

And I had listened. Quietly. Fully. Part of me was genuinely happy for her, truly happy she’d found something that felt like hers. But another part stirred inside me, nameless and restless.

For weeks I’d been turning over in my mind how to make her fantasy real, wondering when the moment was right and with whom. I wasn’t sure if it was me or if I even wanted to be. But that night it suddenly felt like the perfect moment.

I wanted to give her what she reached for, the need to be overpowered, to be guided. But I didn’t feel it the way yozgat escort she did.

What really got under my skin was the way her body always responded to my touch, the hitch in her breath when I held her neck, soft but deliberate. That was what did it for me.

But the part I played in that fantasy felt just like that. A part. Like I had to step aside, tuck myself away in some quiet corner and wait for my cue to return.

Marion stepped toward Marley, her footsteps soft. She grabbed a fistful of Marley’s hair, pulling her head back gently but firmly. With one swift motion, she slipped a fabric hood over her head, tying the loose knots under her chin. I flicked on a couple of small lights, the room settling into quiet anticipation.

Tentatively Marion slid a finger over Marley’s clit which elicited an approving moan. Meanwhile, my aunt stood ready with her strap-on waiting for my instructions. I slipped a finger in Marley’s pussy and noticed it was already quite wet again.

I grabbed the towel from the couch and somewhat heavy-handedly dried her pussy again. Marley pushed her ass closer and closer to me and rubbed her pussy herself on the towel.

With a signal, I ordered my aunt to drill the dildo into Marley’s pussy. This was what Marley wanted more than anything. Without pardon, my aunt rammed the thick dildo into my girlfriend’s pussy. A loud scream came from under the hood and I told her to shut up. At high speed my aunt rammed on and the chunky dildo soon glowed with moisture.

Marion had crawled under Marley on the couch and was squeezing her nipples hard. Marley’s entire body was covered in a layer of perspiration and she was trembling on her legs. Just before she came, my aunt pulled the dildo out of her pussy. Groaning in displeasure, Marley pushed her ass back. “Stand still! I didn’t say you could move!” With the towel I dried her pussy thoroughly again. “You’re a horny whore and I don’t want a horny whore to have a wet pussy.”

Marion, who by now had gotten off the couch and put on the other strap-on, walked up to Marley and gave her a few firm smacks on her ass. In fright, Marley straightened up, but Marion effortlessly pushed her back into position. A growl came from under the hood and the high red blushes on Marley’s body betrayed her immense arousal. “On your knees on the couch now.”

I was still the only one speaking. The hood over her head and only my voice made it difficult for her to orient how many people were present in the room, but she seemed to have no problem with it, as she willingly crawled onto the couch.

Now we moved on to play out her fantasy. Marion had provided the dildo with lots of lubricant and stood behind Marley. With a little lube she also wetted Marley’s ass hole and stuck her finger inside.

As if stung by a wasp, Marley pulled her ass away, but I pushed her back and held her in place. Marion stuck her finger back in and twisted it back and forth a bit. Just as Marley started to respond to it, she pulled it away again. Questioningly, Marion looked at me and I indicated with a nod that she should continue. Marion pushed the dildo, despite Marley’s stifled protests, gently yet forcefully into her asshole.

Marley was on her knees, her body contorted with pain and also pleasure. The dildo had disappeared completely into Marley’s ass and gently Marion began thrusting back and forth. I couldn’t quite make out whether Marley was moaning from the pain or because she really liked it. But this was really what she really wanted and she had told me so many times.

My own arousal had pretty much vanished by then. I loved my girlfriend deeply, but her craving for pain and being overpowered often pushed me past my limits. Most of the time, I only went along with it because I wanted to make her happy. I wanted her to feel seen. Wanted her to feel enough.

Still, that knot in my stomach didn’t go away.

I forced myself to shake it off and turned my focus back to the scene in front of me. Marley, by now, was clearly lost in the moment, breathing hard, her body tense, on the edge of release. Whatever she was feeling, it was real. And I held onto that. Held onto her joy, because it made everything else feel a little less heavy.

I signaled Marion to pull the dildo out of Marley’s ass and sit on the couch. Marley protested fiercely and yelled, “Fuck my ass, fuck my ass.”

It was the second time I had denied her an orgasm and her body was under tremendous tension. “Shut up slut” I said coldly and I gave her a few slaps on her ass. My aunt who had been in a chair waiting was watching everything and violently massaging her clit under the strap-on and the juice was dripping from between her legs.

When I signaled her, she stood up again and also walked toward Marley, on the way she also picked up the towel. I turned to Marley and calmly said,” turn around slut and spread your legs”. My aunt dried Marley’s zonguldak escort pussy roughly and tossed the towel aside again. Marion pulled Marley onto her lap and put the dildo back into her ass. Forcibly she pulled her legs apart and placed them over her own. My aunt knelt in front of Marley and inserted the dildo into her pussy. Marley screamed out in pleasure, in pain, in excitement. Swiftly I now pulled the hood off her head and with a feral look she looked at me. At a rapid pace she was being fucked in two holes and every time she was about to cum, my aunt and Marion stopped. Circling Marley, they tongued each other fiercely without regard to Marley.

I stood butt naked at a distance watching and at my cue they fucked Marley from climax to climax. It all became too much for me and I exited the room, leaving Marley with Marion and my aunt, I went to bed.

In the distance, I heard a voice. When I opened my eyes, Marley was sitting next to me on the bed. Her hair was sticking out in every direction and her body was marked, red patches here and there, even a few bruises starting to show. But her eyes were shining. She looked at me with this dazed, dreamy kind of smile.

“That was so hot,” she whispered, almost reverently. “So good.”

But when she leaned in to kiss me, I turned my face away.

“Go shower first,” I said.

She looked a little hurt, but she didn’t argue. She stood up and headed to the bathroom.

I got out of bed, too. I followed her in. I wanted to wash her. To clean her, gently. As if soap and water could soften whatever had taken root in her. As if maybe, just maybe, last night had eased something in her, that sharp need to be overpowered, to be pushed so far. I missed the version of her I’d fallen for when I was nineteen. I missed that softness. That light.

At first, living together wasn’t half bad. Marley and I found a rhythm, a way to actually share our lives. Her studies started, and she threw herself into it completely. I, on the other hand, just lost the thread. I didn’t care about my classes anymore. I didn’t care about my job. My coworkers annoyed me. Everything felt dull and heavy, like it had all turned gray overnight.

But I didn’t talk to anyone about it.

Every day I dragged myself forward, telling myself it would pass, that it would get better somehow. But it didn’t. I felt like I was sinking, slowly but surely, into some thick swamp I couldn’t get out of.

Marley was swallowed up by the demands of school. And when she wasn’t studying, she was out with new friends, going dancing, blowing off steam. But somehow, no matter how busy she got, she always had time and energy for sex.

Her appetite was huge. Relentless, even. And she knew exactly how to get to me, how to light me up, even when all I wanted was to sleep or disappear for a bit.

But her hunger for pain and being controlled had become a kind of addiction. In our sex games, we tried to find a way to both enjoy it, to get what we needed. But Marley wanted to push boundaries I wasn’t ready for. I felt like I was failing her. Marley felt guilty toward me. Neither of us found it easy to just say out loud what we really wanted.

She was the first to break the silence. “Anne, what would you think if I sometimes went to an BDSM club?”

I wasn’t surprised, honestly, I’d half expected it. “I can’t really stop you, love, because I can’t give you what you’re after.” She looked relieved. I was glad she’d found that solution on her own, but I didn’t show how hard it was for me.

It wasn’t jealousy I felt. It was sadness. I started wondering why I was always just there. Present, but never really touchable.

I started coughing. Nothing special. Just the kind of thing everyone in the nursing home seemed to have. Old folks were vulnerable, so was I, a coworker said. No big deal, just part of it. At night I’d wake up with this tight feeling in my chest. Quick, sharp. Like a bird flapping against the bars of my ribcage. I’d turn over, pull the duvet higher, take a deep breath. Stress, I thought. It’s probably just stress.

Marley mentioned it once. “An, maybe you should get checked out. You’ve been coughing for three weeks. And your hands keep going numb.” I laughed it off. “You’re such a hypochondriac. Come on, I’ve just got a lot going on.” She looked at me for a moment but didn’t say more. Not then.

I kept working. Walking up and down halls with trays full of mush and cookies. Sometimes the world went black when I stood up. I’d drink some water and keep going. I thought about other things. School. Marley. What I was supposed to do with myself.

I ignored the signs. I treated my body like everything else, functional. Something that had to keep going. No time for breaking down. No room for giving up.

And my mind kept racing. Too many versions of me. Too many voices. Too much noise. And somewhere in all that, behind the chaos, something weakly tapped against the inside of my chest.

I didn’t feel good. But I didn’t go to the doctor either. Marley went to her clubs. I just kept stumbling after myself. Doing work I didn’t like anymore. Following a course I didn’t even want to do. I lived on my own but missed Helena’s safety more than I dared admit.

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